That Creepy Stalker Stage
by It's Just Apple Pie
Summary: Completely ridiculous, completely meaningless fluffy conversation between Bo and Lauren, over the phone, which could have occurred at any moment in the series. So no spoilers. Just a spoiled hand, a doctor, and some shattered glass. No biggie. Excuse the cliches. Chapter 3, Bearing Gifts: Kenzi complains about Bo and Lauren's noisy extra curricular activities.
1. White Picket Window

"Do you know what you do to me?"

The words were misplaced, and completely out of context, because last time Lauren checked, Bo didn't want a thing to do with her.

"Apparently not."

"You make me feel wanted."

"Everyone wants you, by definition."

"No, Lauren. You make _me_ feel wanted. Not Bo, the succubus. Me, Bo, the middle aged female."

"You're hardly middle aged."

"That's all you got out of that?"

"Of course I want you. Who wouldn't? Compassionate, loyal, selfless, adorable, honest, trust worthy…"

"You make me sound like a dog."

"Sexy, fun, rack of double D's…"

"That's better."

"Anyway, why do you care if it's me that wants you? My point still stands, everyone wants you, and if they don't I would be seriously concerned. You're a wet dream. You're the white picket fence, with the dog- trophy wife."

"We're not back to dogs are we?"

"Dogs aren't really my thing, that's more your territory."

"Now you're just teasing me."

"Why did you call?"

"I wanted to hear your voice."

"If I didn't know better, I'd think you were a stalker."

"Look out side your window."

"Very funny."

"No really, I've come to suck your chi."

"You wouldn't!"

"Yeah, you're right. You'll never feel that completely mind blowing sensation. But I can think of a few other sensations I could inflict on you…"

"Bo, when was the last time you fed?"

"Does a syringe count?"

"That was last week. You'd be drained."

"So _that's_ why I can't open the window!"

"We're back to that?"

"If you don't open your window right now, I will have to smash my way in."

"So you can levitate now?"

"I hexed a ladder. I'll give you ten seconds."

"Bo, you'd hurt yourself."

"So why don't you just go and open your damned window? The weather outside's frightening."

"I'm too stubborn to summit to your childish games."

"I warned you."

And with that Bo placed her phone between her teeth.

"Here goes nothing." She braced her self.

And with that Bo punched Lauren's window open with one quick blow, and fell into her apartment with a thud.

Lauren came running from her kitchen, completely flabbergasted.

"Never underestimate a hungry succubus." Bo answered from the floor, "Shit, that hurt." She held up her hand to the light, "Fuck, that _stings_!"

If Bo weren't in such obvious pain, Lauren would have rolled on the floor laughing, quite literally.

"Come here, you silly woman." Lauren coaxed Bo to her couch, "Now don't go jumping out my window." She warned her favorite succubus, and left to find her first aid kit.

When Bo saw the kit she cringed, "What's that for?"

"Your hand." Lauren said, taking her seat next to Bo on her couch. Bo's clothes were slightly bloody, and she was cradling her hand tenderly.

Bo pouted, "But- but I'm _hungry_."

Lauren reached for the extra syringes she had kept for Bo in the kit, but with her good hand Bo stopped her.

"I'm asking for it, Lauren."

"Luckily for you, I'm not answering."

Bo groaned as Lauren stuck her expertly with the syringe.

"Tease." Bo accused.

They both waited impatiently for Bo's hand to cease bleeding, but it didn't.

"Huh," Lauren wondered to her self, "I wonder why it's not working."

"My hand hurts like a bitch. Because I broke a window- your window. So you could kiss it better. And all you do is stick me with a syringe. That seems to be a dud." Bo shook her head, "You're supposed to be my doctor."

"And you're supposed to be," Lauren's breath caught, as she met Bo's eyes, "Fucking sexy." She whispered.

Bo's smile could have provided the Empire State Building with lighting for a year.

But then again, what else was new?

"Did the doc just _curse_? Is after-hours Lauren making an appearance?" Bo had completely forgotten about her throbbing hand.

"Considering how it _is_ after hours, and considering you're here, I don't see why that's so surprising."

Bo shook her head, "Not surprising, just very welcome, and _arousing_."

"Just sit still, and shut up while I bandage that hand of yours."

When Lauren touched Bo's hand, she winced, and then tried to cover it up with a yawn. "Punching a window really takes it out of you."

The whole debacle was extremely amusing to Lauren, who chuckled, as she wrapped Bo's wound tentatively.

"Can you kiss it better_ now_?" Bo whined, "Or are you just going to keep laughing at me?"

"After-hours Lauren is tired."

"That's a lie."

"Why would you say that?"

"You're fucking glowing like a Christmas tree."

"That obvious, huh?"

"What got you off?"

Lauren refused to answer, "You need to rest."

"Was it my wanting you, playing doctor, or my bad ass entrance?"

Lauren felt herself blushing, which was not something she usually did, though Bo seemed to make a habit out of bringing out the unusual out of her usually well-controlled character.

"The smile."


	2. Unicorns

Bo was sitting on the roof of a very tall building, drinking some very cheap alcohol.

Unlike Kenzi, when she swiped from her grandfather, she didn't take the good stuff.

Her phone buzzed, and she almost lost her bottle to the concrete below.

_I see you_.

Bo laughed aloud at Lauren's text.

_And I see unicorns_.

She took a swig of her bottle, knowing another text would come quickly. Lauren never did disappoint, thought Bo, smiling happily, and taking another swig.

_Unicorns don't fly. I doubt they would be thirty stories up in the air._

Bo's jaw dropped, her drunkenness showing, and she giggled.

_I could be looking down! Didn't think of that, huh, Doc?_

Another text didn't come for several minutes, and Bo found herself taking a look around. It was dark, there was only a silver of the moon in sight, and Lauren was not in Bo's line of vision. She looked up, down, right and left. Lauren was no where to be found, much to her disappointment.

_Of course I did. Briefly. But your eyesight sucks, foureyes._

Bo attempted to stand up, Lauren knows about my glasses, she realized, horrified, but almost lost her balance, and knocked her bottle off of the roof. She jumped in surprise at the beep of her phone, hanging on to a metal beam for support.

_Careful. You might lose your bottle._

Bo laughed, replying.

_I already did Doc!_

_You don't need it. If I showed up, I'd be caught on the wrong side of a succubus booty call._

Bo shivered, but she couldn't figure out why. She wasn't cold, or scared.

_How do you know I want you?_

Bo felt her before she heard her.

Her aura was intoxicatingly distinct. Bo twisted her body so she was facing in the opposite direction.

She stood in front of Bo, smiling wide, her blonde locks curled just so. The only sliver of the moon seemed to shine on her, "I just know."

Bo was at a loss for words, but Lauren didn't mind, she reached for Bo, pulled her from the edge, and into her arms.

"Who's the stalker now?" Bo grumbled before their lips met.

"I told you I was watching." She whispered in Bo's ear before their lips met a second time.


	3. Bearing Gifts

"Here comes Doctor Hotpants…" Kenzi grumbled to herself.

"Hotpants?" Lauren laughed.

Bo eyes lit up at the sight of her. Blue button down, blue jeans- Bo didn't often get to see the doctor as dressed down as she was at the moment.

And her ass looked pretty good in those jeans.

"I think it has something to do with your tendency to lose your pants around me," Bo answered Lauren's amused and slightly curious eyes.

I'll make her _curious_, thought Bo seductively.

"Exactly," Kenzi said, nodding to Bo in approval, then she slammed the counter with her palm, "Trickster, hook us up with some boze. I'm gonna need it if the Doc is sticking around…" Kenzi grumbled to herself, again.

She liked the doctor and all, but really, did she _always_ have to lose her pants?

Kenzi shook her head, she was happy if Bo was happy. She subconsciously turned to Bo, and saw her enchanting, succubus smile- one the tooth fairy would envy.

_Definitely happy_, she thought.

Trick shook his head, chuckling to himself, and refilled Kenzi's glass.

Bo was too busy staring at Lauren to notice, but he refilled her glass too.

"I don't know how to take that," the good doctor confessed, blushing nervously.

"How about in the back?" Bo suggested, her eyes flashing blue for a second.

Kenzi groaned, "I'm all for succubus happy times, but really. Get a room that is far far far away from where I sleep, eat, and drink! _Seriously_."

Kenzi downed her drink and then Bo's as well.

"I didn't come for that…" Lauren replied to Bo's previous question, after Kenzi's outbreak. Bo gave her a knowing look, so she held up a small bag innocently, "I come bearing gifts," Lauren looked to Bo, but let the bag hang from her pinky in the direction of Kenzi.

Bo smirked, "Anything for me?"

Kenzi's eyes lit up, "Like _free_ stuff?"

Kenzi grabbed the bag, and revealed a National Geographic paper wrapped box. She shook it. She flipped it, and turned it. _Nothing_. "Oh yay, it's a block!" Kenzi said, ripping off the wrapping paper, only to discover more National Geographic paper, and she continued, unraveling layer after layer to reveal the box for what it was- a box.

Kenzi stared at it suspiciously, "Is something gross going to pop out at me?"

She look up to Lauren, who was looking at Bo in anticipation, who was looking at Lauren- well, who was _undressing_ Lauren with her eyes, like Kenzi had the box moments before, with her eager hands.

Shaking her head, Kenzi ripped apart the box, and found a pair of over the head, headphones. They were the color of her favorite red wig and "So awesome!" Kenzi hopped out of her seat, trying them out against her black hair, "How do I look Trickster?" She asked, plugging in her MP3 Player, and air guitar-ing.

Bo frowned, still distracted by Lauren's eyes, and barely even noticed her friend, "Hey, where's my present?" She asked, half expecting the doctor to whip out another present, and the other half expecting to be shut up with a kiss.

Either would have satisfied Bo, but Lauren just smirked and said, "They're noise canceling headphones."

Trick's eyes widened, and he decided he would have to invest in a pair himself. There were something's he just didn't need to hear.


	4. Nature

"Hey Lauren, I was just about to go to bed, what's up?" Bo answered her phone casually.

There was no answer, just a hitch of breath.

"Lauren?" Bo asked, panicked. What if something was wrong?

The Succubus looked down at herself, shrugged and started putting her shoes and jacket on, _this will have to do_, she thought, slipping a breast dagger, well, under her panties.

"Lauren!" Bo was more panicked now, about to run down the steps and out the door of her, uh, humble abode.

Another hitch of breath, and Bo was frantic.

"Lauren! What's wrong? Are you okay? Listen, I'm coming!"

The other line didn't skip a beat, it laughed vigorously, "So soon? But I didn't even get to tell you that I'm naked yet." Her tone of voice was definitely pouting.

It was Bo's turn for her breath to hitch.

"Lauren." She half scolded, half growled in to the phone at the other woman, "You worried me, I was almost out the door."

"What are you wearing?" The voice on the other end asked curiously. The combination, the implications made Bo shiver in anticipation. She sat on her bed in a humph.

"My robe, jacket, boots, and a thong- well also a breast dagger."

The other end of the line chuckled, "You were going to go outside like that?"

"I was worried, what don't you understand about that?" Bo was growing impatient, and the adrenaline that had surged through her moments before was wearing off, despite her nature's calling, "_Why_ are you naked anyway? It's like three in the morning, I'm half asleep here."

"I couldn't sleep," Lauren confessed pushing the phone harder between her ear and her shoulder.

There was silence on the other end, until Bo caught on, "_Oh_."

"Yeah, _oh_." I echoed.

"Why call me?" She whispered in my ear.

"Because you are the reason I couldn't sleep."

Bo stood up, ready to leave again, "No, I mean, why _call_ me?"

"What did you have in mind?" Lauren asked, smiling widely.

"Give me five minutes," Bo hung up, and with that she was out the door.


End file.
